When I got the biopsy results of a CIN3, I really asked myself...how did I get there? Why me? What did I do wrong? I always tried to have a healthy lifestyle, healthy food, I had amazing long sleep, I took daily walks in nature, I had and still have a job I love, I worked out. Where did I go wrong? I read a ton of books, articles online, heard the stories of girls with the same issues and personally, for me, I came to the following conclusion:
Previous stress and life changes
Worked too much, no balance
I did not rest enough
In those 3 years between the CIN3 diagnosis and the normal PAP smear (it could also have been a false negative... but still I never had any smear test that flagged an abnormality) - what happened?
I quit my job and started my own company for which I worked 7 days a week, long hours every day, very small breaks. I was stressed in my mind about the company. I moved to another country. Covid-lockdown with worries associated, Covid-infection with weird impacts on my menstrual cycle...and before those 3 years I had intense personal stress as well for about 1,5 years. Moreover, I'm a person that always does something. I feel happy when I manage to do a maximum amount of things in a day - as weird as that can sound. I simply had very little rest. I worked out, but it was probably a rather stressful workout for my body, lifting weights. I've been on and off the gym because I felt that during a certain period of the month + gym = me falling ill quite easily.
So I made a dramatic change:
Work: I decided to let go of the worries, the pressure and enjoy the ride more. I decided to work from 9 to 1pm, about 4hrs a day. No work on weekends.
Sports: I quit the gym and tried to do daily yoga and low impact exercises (max 30 minutes). Depending on how I felt I did relaxing yoga or something a little more challenging. I walk every day for an hour.
Meditation/Mindfulness: previously I woke up, opened my laptop and started working while eating breakfast. Now, I wake up. I either eat or meditate for about 20 minutes - I set a timer for 20 minutes. I don't like the classical meditation very much so I do the following. I thank god (I'm not very religious but I still do that) for the day ahead of me and for the fact that I'm alive. I feel deep gratefulness in my heart and list what I'm grateful for. I focus on deep breathing for about 5 minutes. Sometimes I breathe through my heart, while holding my hands on my heart. I visualize things I'm dreaming of (things I dream to do, or to achieve) and also of me being healed. I visualize my doctor telling me I'm healed. I feel the deep joy and gratitude of being healed. I thank my body. Then the rest of the time I do the classical meditation, focusing on my breathing, having a kind of empty mind.
Sometimes I also do a walking mediation audio book and walk outside for an hour. But I also love to listen to podcasts or talking with friends.
I also have a guided meditation audio book. When I feel like I don't want to get out of bed yet, I listen to it and its a mini pre-meditation.
Food: I haven't changed much, but I learned that a low inflammatory diet can be very beneficial (no dairy, wheat, rice / lowering other foods). I did take supplements but I'm really not sure if they aren't too much for the body to take in and also the way they potentially interact. I did take zinc though.
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